Am I consistent or what?

Sitting here at the Dyer Homestead in Coastal Maine, listening to the hum of fans and evil black flies right outside the window. Why am I here you ask? The tale is long but ends with me as the heroine and sometimes chauffeur to peoples with heart problems. Those peoples, who might they be? They are the eldest Dyers residing on the Dyer Homestead. One with a pacemaker, or 'robot', as the pacemaker's grandson has labeled him. The other with chest pain-like symptoms, but not in need of a pacemaker. Maybe next year?
So how long am I here for, as my grandmother has asked multiple times due to the Alzheimer's that has taken up residence in her grey cells. For as long as the PUs need me, otherwise known as the parental units, or eldest Dyers in residence here. If nothing else, I gotta be home by the middle of August for the beginning of school.
Until then, I will shuttle the PUs to cardiology appointments, bake bread, cookies, cinnamon rolls, give 'tubbies' to small humans with the name of Paytyn, and do Nursery duty on Sundays. I might even play croquet with other small humans with the names of Abby Yo-Yo and O-Man. Until the next time I post on here, I will be on the look out for 'tinky 'tunks, 'nakes, and anything else that should be pronounced with an S but isn't. I can't wait for 'nack time either!